I seem to break stuff more than most people do. I don’t remember my parents, for example, ever breaking any kitchenware in the 31 years I’ve known them. But I seem to break things on a fairly regular basis. Just a few weeks ago I fumbled a glass vase and it shattered all over the counter; and the other day I made a majestic sweeping motion with my arm as I went into the kitchen, and there went the coffee carafe all over the floor.
Once you’ve broken a glass item in your apartment, you might as well declare it a superfund site and just move. Glass is so difficult to clean up. You can’t just vacuum it, you have to vacuum and then go over the floor with a damp paper towl or something, and still there will be glass. After I’d gotten the carafe all taken care of, I looked on the internet for tips on cleaning up glass, and learned that I should never, ever pick up broken glass with my bare hands or tiny microscopic pieces would adhere to me. So I’ve probably been endangering other humans and domestic animals with my glassy hands ever since.
Also, it’s ridiculously difficult to find replacement carafes for coffee makers. Andy tried it and brought home one that looked right but wasn’t. I looked it up on the good ol internet (I could easily be replaced by the internet and I think you’d all see a vast improvement), and wrote down a bunch of meaningless numbers that might help me identify the right one.
With the result that this is the second day in a row in which I have had no coffee. Such a thing has never happened before, or at least not for a long time.
I don’t know about Misty and Teti, but my cats are exceptionally gifted at helping us find broken tableware. I’ve had numerous occasions where I’ve meticulously picked up what I thought was every last shard of a broken glass or bowl, only to find (two days later) another piece of glass on the kitchen floor that Oliver had fished out from under the stove to use as his newest toy.
That’s the kind of thing M&T would consider a suitable plaything, but I don’t know if they’ve actually done it yet. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time!