I warned Andy yesterday that I probably would not get back to my normal self until after the wedding. I have that feeling that one gets just before any major event, it is similar to how I felt right before high school graduation at which I had to give a speech in front of a couple thousand people (I wasn’t valedictorian, just tried out to give the speech and due to lack of interest on the part of most of my classmates I got the job). The day of graduation I walked around all day repeating my speech over and over–I specifically remember mumbling it to myself while my aunt tried to fix my hair, which had fallen victim to the heat and humidity which typifies Nebraska weather from May to October. This time around I have fewer words to memorize, but they’re a lot more important. Another key difference is that this time, I won’t be quoting Dr. Seuss’s Oh The Places You’ll Go–I know you’re all disappointed.
I’m not at all nervous about getting married, but I am nervous about the wedding. So many details to take care of, so much to delegate. Normally I’m not a control freak at all and am quite good at rolling with the punches, and for the most part I’m doing okay this time; but the thing is that usually somebody else is in charge and I just follow orders. This time everything is up to me: that everything goes smoothly, everybody is at least given ample opportunity to have fun, and no one succumbs to heat stroke, Lyme disease, West Nile Virus, or the many other dangers I’m told haunt the Great Plains biome these days. So, I’m a little crazed, but I’m sure it will pass.
I think it’s a question of perspective. If you’re aiming for the social event of the decade where everything flows seamlessly from one Precious Moment(tm) to the next, you’re bound to be disappointed. Minor hiccups and gaffes are part and parcel of a wedding and give color to the stories for years to come. Bottom line: if you’re married at the end of the day, it’s a success. Everything else is gravy. Knowing the care you and Andy have been putting into the ceremony, there’ll be plenty of gravy.
I wish I could be there :-/
Thanks, Alan. I think I’ll record those words on tape, then listen to them on headphones continually for the next 17 days. Hee hee. We wish you guys could be there too, but you also have more important things to do 🙂
In the past year and a half, I have been to more weddings than a person would ever want to go to, and I have never seen anything go wrong. Maybe little things came up behind the scenes, but by the time that day arrives, you’ll be so happy you won’t really care. I had to give a speech at my high school graduation as well and that was much more nerve-wracking than my wedding day – if for no other reason than graduation is in front of almost an entire crowd of strangers, whereas at your wedding people come because they know you and love you. People who already think you guys are cool will be there to eat good food and see you in a pretty dress – it’s a pretty low-pressure situation in that regard.
The worst story I’ve ever heard about a wedding disaster is really pretty funny in retrospect. Maybe I shouldn’t be telling this to a bride-to-be, but here goes. The year was 1975, in the middle of a hot, humid summer, and my mom’s sister Debbie was getting married. My mom was a bridesmaid, wearing a garish flowered dress that looked like couch upholstery (and that’s not even the disaster part). Also, unbeknownst to anyone else there, my mom was a few months pregnant with yours truly. It must have been a combination of the pregnancy and the terrible heat, but in the middle of the ceremony, my mom fainted. But in the end, the wedding turned out just fine. So the moral of this story is, how bad can it be? You’ll be surrounded by family and friends who will be right by your side no matter what goes wrong, and we’ll all be more than willing to laugh at any disasters with you 20 years from now. And this is coming from one bridesmaid who’s planning to stay on her feet the entire ceremony.