Good morning! I said, GOOD MORNING!
OK, so we all have our little personal pet peeves--the things that drive us crazy but don't seem to bother anyone else. One of mine is being forced to participate in the following little drama, played out every Sunday morning in countless churches around the world:
Scene: a church on Sunday morning. The music prelude ends and the worship leader/pastor/whoever steps up to the front grinning fiendishly.Worship leader: Good morning!
Congregation: Good morning!
Worship leader (adopting a scolding tone and a smug grin): Oh, come on! What was that? I know you can do better than that! Let's try it again! Good morning!
Congregation: GOOD MORNING!
This scene is on some rare occasions made even worse when the worship leader decides that the congregation's lack of enthusiasm can be cured by telling everyone to try it again, but standing up this time.
Maybe this little ritual is a helpful way for some people to wake up in the mornings. It unfortunately makes me want to start punching things, which is rarely a good way to get in the mood for a worship service. I'm at church so I can worship, not so I can have my enthusiasm and attentiveness levels judged and found wanting by some well-intentioned volunteer.
I suppose if this is the sort of annoyance I spend my time worrying about, I've got it pretty good. But what's a blog for, if not for airing petty gripes?
Comments
Yeah, that's pretty petty. God isn't pleased.
Seriously, that kind of annoys me too. It feels too much like that Cunningham character from Donnie Darko and his icky seminars. But I take a different tack: I be sure to be about as loud as possible on the first try, thus affording the "well-intentioned volunteer" (who, rather, is usually my well-intentioned, paid father) no room to conclude that the previously alive and vocal congregation was somehow substituted, on his watch, with zombies and/or mutes. It generally works, though I occasionally yell myself hoarse (kidding) or draw looks from others in the congregation (not kidding). But I just close my eyes and raise my hands and they think I'm all spiritual and they don't bug me (again kidding).
Sorry, I just woke up.
Posted by: pcg | January 12, 2004 7:14 PM
What a hilarious post. Comment too. I know *exactly* what you're both talking about, but I got a good chuckle out of the idea of Andy punching things, and pcg drawing looks in church. Though with the dreads gone, you probably do need to start yelling in church to get attention. ;)
Posted by: topher | January 13, 2004 8:07 AM
I think we can agree that if this is your biggest problem, you've got a pretty good life.
:)
Posted by: Jon | January 13, 2004 8:39 AM
And then there's the classic, "extending the right hand of fellowship to those around you." Definitely not one of my favorite parts of the service.
Posted by: bcp | January 13, 2004 11:18 AM
Jon, to be totally honest, this isn't my biggest problem. My biggest problem is that our church only serves coffee--no hot chocolate, no fruit punch!--at the fellowship time after the service. Can you imagine?
And bcp, you don't even want to get me started on the whole "greet one another" part of the service. There's always that awkward moment where you make eye contact with somebody a few pews down, and neither of you knows whether you should reach way over and try to shake hands or just pretend that you didn't see each other. Oh, the trials we must endure!
Posted by: jrau | January 13, 2004 1:13 PM