This is your RPG character on drugs

OK, time for a little geeky RPG humor. Earlier this week I came across a humorous little essay written by a gamer who blames his favorite character’s descent into madness and addiction on the cruelty of the adventure’s author (some profanity, you’ve been warned). It’s a bit long, but worth getting to the final page, where we are treated to this cautionary tale:

And finally, just to put the icing on the cake, we encountered a drug dealer in a pub, and in a mad moment I sampled the goods. Which were good. Which were *very* good. When I took some I felt like I was on top of the world, that I could do anything, that no-one could stop me. These drugs worked, and I said yes!
One dose gave you +10%/+1 to EVERY single attribute bar attacks. My weapons skill was up by 10% (i.e. 58% instead of 48%). My ballistic skill was up by 10%. My toughness was up by 1. My initiative was up by 10%. My intelligence was up by 10%. My leadership, my cool, my everything, etc. etc….
It was great. Time after time I’d roll the dice and say: “I made it… because of the drugs!” Time and time again they saved my skin, and I wasn’t going to let the 50 gold crowns a week cost get me down. And who cared if every time I took a dose, General Tangent (the GM) rolled some dice behind his screen.

Great. Now I’m going to have to resist the urge to shout “I made it… because of the drugs!” every time I roll dice during a game.
Oh, and the cruel author of said adventure published a response. All very amusing stuff.

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2 thoughts on “This is your RPG character on drugs

  1. pcg

    Just wow. Beyond the hilarity of the specific account, that RPG sounds just fascinating. My gaming experience has DEFINITELY suffered from a lack of non-AD&D games…

  2. jrau

    Peter, the game in question is the British RPG Warhammer. Partly inspired by this humorous account, Michele and I started a short Warhammer adventure the other day and can testify that it is, in fact, very cool…

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