Earlier this week, I won a prize drawing.

In my life, I have won exactly two prize drawings (that I can remember, at least). The first was a five-pound Hershey’s chocolate bar, which served as dessert at the Rau household for many weeks, and which definitely answered the question “Is it possible to have too much of a good thing?” And my newly-won prize is… wait for it… a giant bag of hair-care products.

Thinking back to a trip to the barber a few weeks back, I vaguely recall mumbling “yes” when asked if I wanted to enter my name in their weekly drawing. And sure enough, I was the one chosen to receive the ultimate prize.

I hope that I am not allotted a finite number of prize-winnings in my life, because that would mean I’ve burned through two of them on a giant chocolate bar and a bag of hair gel. At least, I think this stuff is mostly types of hair gel. I can’t tell, because instead of labeling the bottles with something easy-to-comprehend, like “hair gel,” they call them things like creme-cire de coiffage (which sounds vaguely dirty), curl life defining system (what is it defining, exactly?), and extra intense conditioner (I don’t want to know).

Unfortunately, the phrase “pearls before swine” springs to mind here, as I really am the last person upon whom you should be lavishing hair-care gifts. As the more fashion-conscious among you have no doubt noticed, I have not changed my hair style since high school, and endeavor to spend as little effort on my hair as is humanly possible. My primary goal upon visiting the barber is to maximize the amount of time before I have to visit the barber again–i.e., cut my hair short enough that I don’t have to think about it for a few months. “It would be impossible,” I always tell the person cutting my hair, “to cut my hair too short.” They never seem to really believe me.

Ah, well. Michele will be back from Turkey later this month, and I’ve now got just the thing to serve as a welcome-home present…

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