| What I thought my six-year-old daughter would learn in tae-kwon-do class |
What she actually learned |
| The Way of the Exploding Fist |
Report bullying behavior to a trusted adult |
| Death Before Dishonor |
Never practice martial arts manuvers on a sibling or pet |
| Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique |
Share with the class something kind you did this week, like you picked up your Legos without being asked or something |
| Foe-shaming Mantra of the Ineffable Bodhisvatta |
It’s easier if you tie the right side of your uniform first |
| If You Meet the Buddha, Kill Him |
We don’t use real weapons at this martial arts studio except for this one bo staff that is just for show and actually you’re not allowed near it |
| Drunken Master Style |
Annual membership in the American Taekwondo Association costs how much?!? |
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This post is the best thing on the internet
If it’s anything like my taekwondo studio, they don’t teach the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique ’til the kids turn eight.