Author Archives: Andy

Lend me a hand, Wizards: sell me some non-randomized miniatures

I bet this miniature gets a lot of use in your average D&D gameI like Wizards’ pre-painted plastic miniatures, both the D&D and Star Wars flavors—I make heavy use of them in the games I run. But I really think Wizards is missing an opportunity by not releasing a few RPGer-friendly miniature sets.

By this I mean that I would be a happier GM if I could go to my friendly local game store and buy a box of non-random, themed plastic miniatures—say, a box of a dozen skeletons, or goblins, or kobolds or Stormtroopers or what-have-you. As it is, because the miniature packs sold by Wizards are randomized, I’ve got just as much chance of winding up with a celestial black bear (truly, a staple of any D&D game) as I do of getting the basic gnoll that I’ll actually use in my game.

Yes, it’s not too difficult to assemble “encounter groups” by purchasing miniatures individually from a place like GMSarli Games or Miniature Market. The former online store even sells themed encounter packs to make your life easier. But why isn’t Wizards doing this? Why aren’t they selling packs of miniatures as companions to the adventure modules they’re releasing? (Some brave soul on rpg.net has gone through and listed out miniatures that cover every monster in Keep on the Shadowfell—looks awesome, but prohibitively expensive to collect individually.)

Ah well, I’m just another GM ranting that Wizards isn’t making the exact product that he wants… but I’ve seen other gamers online calling for non-random miniature sets, and you’d think Wizards could at least test the concept with a release or two. Wizards, are you listening? Add my vote to the record….

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Let's play Infocom's Infidel, part 1: "May the jackals feed well on your bones"

All that talk yesterday about Infocom games left me in the mood to dig out my collection and try out a classic text adventure that I’d never completed. And I figure it’ll be fun to post about my progress as I explore the game; I don’t know if I’ll make it all the way through the game or if I’ll call it quits after a few sessions, but either way I hope it’ll be interesting.

So the first question is: which Infocom game to play?

After some deliberation, I decided that I’m most in the mood for a puzzle-heavy exploration-type game. The Zork games are thus the most obvious choices, but I’d like to try one I’ve not completed. My memories of the Zorks are very vague at this point, but I’m afraid I’d remember too many puzzle solutions as I played.

That still leaves quite a few choices, but I’ve decided on… Infidel, Infocom’s 1983 archaeologist-exploring-lost-pyramids game. You don’t really hear too much about this one, which may or may not mean that it’s not a very memorable game, but I can’t resist the lure of modern-day dungeon exploration with Egyptian trappings.

Note: major Infidel spoilers follow.

As with most Infocom games, Infidel‘s opening text brilliantly establishes the scene:

You wake slowly, sit up in your bunk, look around the tent, and try to ignore the pounding in your head, the cottony taste in your mouth, and the ache in your stomach. The droning of a plane’s engine breaks the stillness and you realize that things outside are quiet — too quiet. You know that this can mean only one thing: your workers have deserted you. They complained over the last few weeks, grumbling about the small pay and the lack of food, and your inability to locate the pyramid. And after what you stupidly did yesterday, trying to make them work on a holy day, their leaving is understandable.

The Professor’s map was just an ancient map — as worthless as an ice cube in the Arctic without an instrument fine enough to accurately measure longitude and latitude. You knew that the site was nearby. You dug, and you ordered the workers to dig, even without the box. As you listen to the plane and rub your aching eyes, you pray they left you supplies enough to find the pyramid and to survive, and that the plane’s carrying the long-overdue box.

That’s a darn fine opening. Infocom had some really top-notch writers for their games. The writer for Infidel is one Michael Berlyn.

Reading through that introductory text, it clearly lays out two clear goals I should focus on: survival (which probably means tracking down food and water), and locating the lost pyramid, which is nearby but not findable until I can get a hold of that navigation box.

The first order of business then is to scout out the immediate area. As soon as I leave the tent, an airplane passing overhead airdrops a crate into my camp: it contains the long-awaited navigation box. Very good. I spend a few minutes traveling around the camp, only to find that I am indeed utterly alone and abandoned here—the workers have all packed up and vanished. Here’s the map I’m drawing as I go:

I do pick up a few useful-looking objects (and a few that don’t seem terribly useful):

  • a pickaxe
  • a shovel, the classic tool of the adventuring archaeologist
  • a pack of cigarettes
  • a matchbook
  • a canteen! Empty, though.
  • the navigation box from the crate mentioned above

I also come across a menacing note left by my former camp workers:

Fi aman Allah!

Hereafter you shall pursue your fool dream of the hidden pyramid and its riches alone. May the jackals feed well on your bones. We have left you what you need to get back, though we hope you do not. We put several things you treasure above life itself inside your trunk, locked with your precious padlock, but we could not bear to part with the key. Especially after what you said of our rites. We hope the drug we placed in your drink did you harm. If not, we are at least satisfied you slept especially soundly while we cleaned out the camp. Farewell.

Charming. So much for getting along well with the natives. Well, let’s find out what’s in that trunk the note mentions. The pickaxe chops through the padlock and inside the trunk I find an inspection sticker (complete with amusing Infocom in-jokes!), some beef jerky (there’s my food, I suppose), a treasure map indicating the coordinates of the lost pyramid (excellent), and a cubic stone with hieroglyphs on it that read something like “the queen and all the queen’s treasures”. Hmmm.

The next order of business is to find some water, because by now the game has started warning me that I’m getting thirsty. I’m guessing the Nile riverbank is where I can fill this canteen, so I head that way. As it happens, I’ve spent a bit too much time poking around the camp and picking up junk, because I collapse of thirst and die before I get there.

Ahem. Apparently this is one of those games that enforces rather strictly the human need for sustenance. Duly noted.

One hastily restarted game later, I’ve refilled my canteen and eaten my beef jerky, hoping that this will last me a while. One positive note: since the Nile is a limitless supply of water, I can keep refilling my canteen as long as I’m able to return to this spot later in the game. There’s a big “if” in that statement, but for now I’ve staved off thirst and hunger. On to find this pyramid.

Looking at the map (included in the game box; I’m looking at a grainy PDF scan of it), it looks like the lost pyramid is located at 24 degrees 11 minutes 4 seconds N latitude, 32 degrees 12 minutes 42 seconds E longitude. Not having been a Boy Scout I have little clue what that means, but I can move around the desert (east of camp, extending infinitely, it seems) checking the navigation box until I get there.

Attempt #1 results in my second death so far. I misread the map coordinates and dig (using the shovel I picked up earlier) in the wrong spot, and get killed when the walls of the hole I’m digging collapse on me. Forgiving, this game is not.

So, er, another restarted game, and I’ve found the correct location now! I dig… and dig… and EUREKA! The top of what must be the lost pyramid! There’s a cube-shaped slot in the pyramid which is rather obviously where I need to insert this cubic stone I’ve got; sure enough, the pyramid door opens and I’m looking down into a room called the Chamber of Ra.

Which is a good place to stop for now; it looks like I’ve made it through the game’s prologue and only died twice. Not bad. I save my game (always save your game! I’m slowly remembering what it was like before the days of auto-saving games). I’ve scored 50 points out of a possible 400 in 71 moves. That seems rather impressive—either this isn’t a terribly long game, or they stacked a lot of points right at the beginning.

We’ll find out in a few days when I venture into… the Chamber of Ra. Hope you’ll join me!

If you’re interested, here’s a picture of my Infidel maps-and-notes journal so far.

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Remembering Infocom's Enchanter

Congrats to jeffro on beating Infocom’s Enchanter! (OK, that’s a really old post, but sometimes I get way behind on my blog reading.) I played the Zork trilogy like crazy back in junior high and high school, but for some reason I never picked up any of the Enchanter trilogy. It’s too bad, because playing it now I think I might actually have enjoyed Enchanter even more than I liked the Zork games—the Zorks are essentially gonzo Gygaxian dungeon crawls, whereas Enchanter seems a bit more traditional and plot-oriented, and in general I prefer the latter to the former.

I played Enchanter for the first time ten or so years back after acquiring a copy of the wonderful Infocom Classics collection. I got maybe two-thirds of the way through before getting stuck and then distracted by school, but I’ve always intended to revisit it. The puzzles that I recall were a little less… random than those in Zork, and I didn’t encounter any that exhibited the sheer nasty near-unsolvability that some of the Zork puzzles did. (Jeffro mentions Zork III, which was the game that finally made me break down and consult InvisiClues for help: that stupid maze with the movable walls still makes me angry just thinking about it.) I really like Enchanter’s central gimmick—you’re a magician who knows a handful of low-powered but useful spells, which must be put to unorthodox uses to solve puzzles. Some of the puzzles made really clever use of the spells.

Ahhh, now I’m in the mood to dig out Enchanter and see if I can solve it this time. It’s strangely comforting to know that should I ever want to dig into Infocom games again, I’ve got an entire unplayed trilogy to explore.

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D&D players strike back

If you’re still smarting from those disparaging remarks about D&D by the John McCain campaign, take heart: the folks at Hasbro have stepped forward to champion the cause. Take a look at this letter from a Hasbro exec to the McCain staffer who wrote the infamous press release:

Dear Mr. Goldfarb,

I was disappointed to read the disparaging intent of your comments regarding Dungeons & Dragons (D&D) fans, both in your response to New York Times editors, and on the John McCain campaign website.

Dungeons & Dragons is a global game with millions of consumers in the U.S. and abroad. The brand is owned by Wizards of the Coast, a subsidiary of Hasbro, Inc.

For fans, the game is essentially about heroism and therefore it is not surprising to us that thousands of military personnel play and enjoy the game. Hasbro, in turn, supports the U.S. Armed Forces by sending multiple crates of game products, including Dungeons & Dragons, to our soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Recently a soldier who saw your comments online said, “Wizards of the Coast (the makers of D&D) has sent care packages to the troops on many occasions, providing free gaming supplies in support of our men and women serving the country overseas to help them decompress after hours. McCain’s people should really check their facts before they spout off. Does John McCain have no idea how many GIs play D&D?”

We would very much appreciate you not making any more condescending comments about D&D — as it is a great game enjoyed by millions of people around the world. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Wayne Charness
Senior Vice President
Hasbro, Inc.

Weirdly, this is apparently not the first time that D&D has been used as a political pejorative by Goldfarb; earlier in August he issued a clever apology for his first such offense [note: looking at this apology, I’m unsure if it actually happened or is just a joke that’s circulating around the web. If you can confirm one or the other possibility, please comment below!]:

If my comments caused any harm or hurt to the hard working Americans who play Dungeons & Dragons, I apologize. This campaign is committed to increasing the strength, constitution, dexterity, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma scores of every American.

OK, that’s pretty amusing, and lends credence to my suspicions that Goldfarb is a D&Der (or a bitter ex-D&Der). I mean, he even listed the stats out in their correct order.

And lastly, faithful reader (yes, I seem to have one or two of them) Raymond points out a very nice photoshop job of McCain reaching out to the gamers his words have so deeply wounded:

mccain

(If McCain thinks the Iraq War debate has been brutal, he’d be well advised to steer clear of the D&D edition wars.)

So at any rate, this is all just a lot of silliness, although I’ve seen more than a few gamers online taking the D&D jab a little too seriously. McCain, let us put this regrettable incident behind us. And yes, I admit that I am probably shallow enough to vote for whichever candidate first poses with a D&D Player’s Handbook.

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Alienating the RPG voting bloc!

I’m back from Gencon—pictures and details in a future post. But this morning I’m just trying to wrap my brain around this quote from a recent John McCain press release:

It may be typical of the pro-Obama Dungeons & Dragons crowd to disparage a fellow countryman’s memory of war from the comfort of mom’s basement, but most Americans have the humility and gratitude to respect and learn from the memories of men who suffered on behalf of others.

On the contrary, I thought you couldn’t spend all those years playing Dungeons & Dragons and not learn a little something about courage! Maybe an enterprising DM should volunteer to run McCain and his staff through the Tomb of Horrors?

And is it wrong of me to secretly hope that “Dungeons & Dragons crowd” will become a frequently-used political pejorative this election season like “flip-flopper” or “limousine liberal”? No publicity is bad publicity. Seriously though, unless McCain is secretly nursing a grudge against a DM that killed off his 12th-level rogue years ago, I don’t really see why one would use that phrase as an intended political insult, or what it’s even supposed to mean.

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> There is a zorkmid here.

How’s this for a blast from the past: while cleaning house the other day, I came across a little piece of gaming history:

It’s a zorkmid, which as everybody knows is the currency of the Zork text adventure games. If you’ve never seen one yourself, it’s an actual metal coin, quite hefty and very atmospheric. This particular zorkmid was packaged with the Zork Trilogy box. This was Back In The Day when they actually packaged cool stuff along with your game—and Infocom was the king of cool game packaging.

This zorkmid is one of my prized possessions, and I can’t tell you how happy I was to find it again. I’d lost track of it, and assumed it got lost during a move several years ago. (Poking around the web, I see that I’m not the only one nostalgic for zorkmids: here’s an apparently abandoned project to mint zorkmids.)

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When a game session goes well

There’s nothing quite so fun as a game session that goes well. (Well, there probably are a few other things that are that fun. But just a few.)

Last night I ran a D&D 3.5 game that was… just a great deal of fun. Gaming over the last year has been a tad lackluster for various reasons, but sessions like last night’s remind why I love this hobby so much. A few observations from the game:

  • I love playing with newbies. A couple of the people in last night’s game group were totally new to D&D. I love being there when the game finally “clicks” for them. Almost invariably, about an hour into the game, there’s a flash of excitement and understanding on their face and they ask: “You mean… my character can do anything I want in this game?” Last night, that moment came as the party explored an old warehouse, came to a closed door behind which they knew enemies were lurking, and realized… hey, we don’t have to charge through that door—we don’t even have to fight these enemies at all if we don’t want to. A simple scene, but inspiring!
  • I’m never going to tire of D&D. That’s not entirely true; every couple of years I get overdosed on D&D and need to take some time off to play other games instead. But I always come back. At the end of the day, I’ll never say no to a good old-fashioned game of fantasy adventurers, sinister villains, and noble quests. Other great games come and go, but nothing does “kill the bad guys and take their stuff” like D&D.
  • I love gaming. This is probably an obvious point, but I had an epiphany this weekend: I love gaming just as much as I did when I was younger, but these days my reasons for loving gaming are quite a bit different. As one of the players last night commented during the game: “You know, for me, D&D is really all about eating unhealthy snacks and laughing with friends.” When I was a kid, I played RPGs with my friends because we loved the games; the social interaction with my friends was just a side benefit. Today, I play RPGs with friends almost entirely because of the social interaction: few other activities let me laugh and connect with them in quite the same way. There were times during the game last night that the entire table was paralyzed with laughter at somebody’s witty one-liner. It really doesn’t get much better than that.

As with any social activity, not every game is a transformative and joyous experience, as any gamer will tell you. But when they do go well, they leave me glowing for days. And now I couldn’t possibly be in better spirits for my trip to Gencon later this week!

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Local comic book store owner shot

Wow. Reading this in the local newspaper this weekend was a bit of a shock:

KENTWOOD — Friends of a comic-book store owner shot in an apparent robbery said they can’t understand why the shop would be a target.

David Pirkola is in critical but stable condition in a local hospital, said Stephen Jahner, who owns Apparitions Comics and Books with Pirkola.

“People open comic stores because they love comics and are lucky if they can make a living,” Jahner said. “It’s not like we ever have a lot of cash in the store. It’s just unbelievable.”

Kentwood police said a man entered the store at 2757 Ridgemoor Drive SE around 7 p.m. and demanded money, shot Pirkola and fled.

Jahner said Saturday he has known Pirkola for decades.

“He’s just a sweet guy, one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet,” he said. “He’s the kind of guy you want watching your back.”

I don’t know Dave personally, and I’m not a super-regular customer of his comic store, but I stop by to browse around Apparitions every other month or so. Dave has always seemed like a really nice guy, always asking if I need any help finding something, and not minding that I tend to sit for hours thumbing through his collection of used RPGs.

I can’t imagine why a comic book store, of all places, would stand out as a tempting target for a robbery. And how horrible that such a stupid crime was made even worse when an innocent person got shot.

I hope Dave pulls through. Some of his friends have put together a donation page where you can contribute to help out with his medical costs. From the donation page:

…David is in the hospital and stable, but still severely injured. As you can imagine, no matter how speedy the recovery, getting back to running his business will be challenging. Even normally, running an independent comic book store is an incredibly difficult job, and many retailers often operate with limited or no personal health insurance. Given that retailers are such an important part of our industry, we want to help out as much as possible.

Hang in there, Dave!

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