Andy vs. Spyware, Round 1

Tonight, I have learned some very valuable lessons:

  • Be kind to your fellow human beings, and try to make the world a better place.
  • Don’t use Internet Explorer.
  • Give generously to those in need.
  • For the love of all that is holy, don’t use Internet Explorer.

Tonight, I had my first real encounter with malware–malicious software installed (generally without your knowledge) by evil websites and viruses and such. Don’t worry, gentle reader–it wasn’t my machine, which I safeguard from such abominations with anal-retentive fanaticism. Tonight I received a Phone Call from someone in my church congregation whose computer had started acting loony. More specifically, it was rebooting itself immediately after booting, which would qualify as a definite problem. So I filled a CD with some popular spyware/malware/virus killers, and went over to check it out.
This was my first encounter with a malware-choked computer, and it exhibited all of the classic symptoms about which you read in computer magazines and frothing Slashdot threads. In addition to the charming “automatic rebooting” feature, we had all the classics. Mysterious search bars on the desktop? Check. Sabotaged security settings, constant browser hijacking, and popups that can’t be closed? Check. Programs that can’t be uninstalled? Check. Constant downloading of mysterious Data from the internet? Check. Check, check, you get the idea.
So I went to work, and through the use of four or five different handy programs, we cleaned out about 400 specific instances of malware. Two hours later, there were still a few pieces of malware that I knew were installed, but which I couldn’t figure out how to delete–so I’ll probably need to have a another go at it once I do some more research.
Looking for information on the web, I soon found that nearly all of the major instances of malware arrived on his machine via vulnerabilities in Internet Explorer (and this despite his up-to-date Windows Updates and the presence of SP2). I was hesitant to recommend that he switch cold-turkey to a different browser about which he had never heard (Firefox, which worked flawlessly on his computer while IE was brought to a crashing, popup-filled halt within seconds of startup). Nevertheless, I did install Firefox and imported all of his IE bookmarks and such, telling him that if he continued to have trouble with IE, to try using Firefox instead. I don’t know if he’ll take my advice, but I hope he does.
So yeah. Let me go on record: I generally like Windows XP, find it to be stable and easy to use, and am much indebted to it for several years of really cool games. I will spare you the use of oh-so-clever phrases like “WinBlows” and “Micro$oft.” But my friend, I beg you. Don’t do it… just don’t. Don’t use Internet Explorer.

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

So far in 2005: Heroes 1, Orcs 0

Well, we started out the New Year the way everybody should: by rampaging through an orc-infested dungeon killing everything that moved. (Well, we ran away from a few of the moving things. But we killed most of them, at least.)
I’m referring, of course, to a good old-fashioned D&D game (a Greyhawk adventure from the glorious first edition days). Getting a good game session in on January 1 seems promising; hopefully it’s a sign that 2005 will involve more gaming than 2004 did. Here’s hoping. And happy New Year to you!

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

Abusing the English

This is a fun article about the use and abuse of the English language.
From time to time, I channel the Grammar Nazi myself. Among the abuses that particularly annoy me:
1) I was wondering if you are coming to the festival tomorrow? Arrrgh! Make a Statement or ask a Question, but don’t use a question mark to fuse them together into an abominable hybrid Statement-Question!
2) He’s the gentleman I was talking to. Arrgh, and arrrgh again! Don’t end sentences with prepositions! Don’t, I say! Cases in which doing so is appropriate are rare indeed, and your sentence is unlikely to be one of them.
To my great shame, I occasionally make these mistakes myself. I never committed such offenses before I met the internet and email, which tends to confirm my suspicion that the Inter-Web is slowly but surely making me stupid.
p.s. I spell “occasionally” wrong almost every single time I use it. My sin nature always wants to insert an extra ‘s’. (Or should that be ‘s.’? I’ll save that rant for a future post.)

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

Humbled

I’m still trying to process the sheer scale of the earthquake/tsunami disaster. The loss of life is just horrifying.
The speed with which so many thousands of lives have been lost or changed forever makes the mind reel. Reading reports about the disaster–and I can only imagine what it must be like viewing the crisis areas firsthand–is an incredibly humbling experience. It’s nearly 2005, and we’ve all got personal MP3 players and GPS devices and cell phones, but we have no more control over nature’s occassional outbursts than did the cavemen.
It’s an odd experience, to be reminded that even mankind at his worst and most destructive–militarily, environmentally, personally–pales in comparison to the wrath of a single, brief, apparently random earthquake. And there’s a bizarre, detached comfort to it as well, to be reminded that mankind really isn’t in control down here, that our very existence depends on the grace of a Creator.
Not to be all lofty and pretentious about it, but it does make you think.

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

Holiday linkage

A quick roundup of some links and thoughts you may find interesting.

  • Extended RotK: I was all set to blog about my thoughts on the extended Return of the King, and then realized that Polytropos seems to share my exact opinions and has already posted an insightful essay detailing them. (Short summary of my views: Drinking game = bad, Aragorn’s behavior at the Morannon = bad, and everything else = good to excellent.)
    More importantly, from the aforelinked post I’ve now learned that there are other people in the world who can sing from memory the Orcs’ timeless marching tune. True story: while slaving away sorting pottery on an archaeology dig in Jordan, I overheard somebody else in the pottery room humming this tune. When I worked up the courage to confront them, they were as amazed as I that somebody else out there had the song memorized. Instant friendship!
    Jonathan has some good thoughts on the extended RotK too.

  • OK, one more Tolkien link: Why Lord of the Rings Will – and Must – Be Remade. Very interesting little essay.
  • Environmental catastrophe: Mark has an interesting post talking about his reasons for not putting much stock in “we’re killing the planet!”-type environmental arguments.
    I’ve not read The Skeptical Environmentalist or the other books he mentions, so I can’t comment on their quality. But there is a glaring need for somebody–preferably somebody within the environmental movement–to step forward and honestly discuss why the worst-case scenarios we’ve been hearing about for decades have not come to pass. Some of these the-world-is-ending predictions are made by fringe extremists and can be discounted as such, but an awful lot of these ominous predictions originate from–or at least are not publically countered by–more reputable sources. Certainly, not a year has gone by in my memory that I have not heard from very earnest, scientific-study-citing individuals that our oil/forests/clean air/living space is on the verge of vanishing forever… but I can still fill up my car for $1.80 at the local gas station, same as ever.
    In my opinion, the reason for much of the disconnect between apocalyptic predictions and the reality is not a malicious desire to deceive, but simply the human penchant for hyperbole. In a world of ten billion distractions, the only way you can make yourself heard or drive home your point is by voicing more and more extreme warnings. This is perhaps understandable, but it also has the effect of making it hard to take seriously the latest “our ____ is about to vanish!” reports.
    Ahem. So much for quick links and brief commentary, eh? Forward, then, to the next stop on our journey, the much-anticipated…

  • Political link: One of the most thought-provoking pundits from the Right that I’ve come across is Stephen DenBeste, who has unfortunately retired his blog. However, I note with great joy that he has put together a page linking to his best essays. His synopsis of the war against terror is an excellent, logical ordering of the conservative vision for the current war. Even if you don’t agree with it, I think you’ll find it an enlightening summary of the conservative position.

OK, I think that’s it for now. I must be off to finish up some last-minute Christmas shopping. Merry Christmas to all!

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

Festung America

Most board gamers are familiar with the games Axis and Allies and (to a lesser extent, perhaps) Shogun. Both are deservedly well-known, being excellent strategy board games. But one game in the same general category and released at about the same time gets much less attention than it deserves–Fortress America (pictures). It’s a bit trickier to learn than either A&A or Shogun, but that didn’t prevent me from spending a large chunk of my youth playing it solitaire or with friends.

The FA setup is a pretty straightforward Cold War nightmare: the United States is being invaded! Three enemy armies (played by three separate players, or controlled as a group by a single player) are attacking the U.S. from three sides: west, south, and east (our Canadian brothers are watching our northern flank, apparently–go Canada!). The invading players win by capturing a certain number of major U.S. cities; the U.S. player wins by preventing this from happening. The game works best, in my experience, if the invaders are controlled by three different players, as this introduces a bit of fun competition between invaders; but it can be played just as well with just one invader and one U.S. player.

Fortress America plays somewhat differently than its sister strategy games, and introduces several interesting strategic challenges that aren’t present in A&A or Shogun. Among the strategic issues that really set the game apart:

  • Winning battles is trickier than in FA‘s sister games. In particular, it’s relatively difficult to capture a territory. To do so, you must destroy or rout every defending unit–but because of the way that the combat rules work, that’s tough to do. (Among other things, the defending side gets an advantage in combat. There’s also only one “round” in combat, so you only get one round to take out every defender.) If you want to be sure of a battlefield victory in FA, you pretty much need massive numerical superiority or incredible luck.
  • The three invaders start with overwhelming numerical superiority, with large armies in excellent attack positions. In addition, the invaders receive very heavy reinforcements every turn–but only for the first few turns of the game. In other words, the invaders are primed to make very rapid progress in the opening turns of the game… but when those reinforcements stop, they’re stuck with whatever they’ve got for the rest of the game.
  • On the other hand, the U.S. starts out in a comparatively awful strategic position–its meager starting forces are spread equally thin across the entire country. It receives comparatively light reinforcements each turn, but (critically) those reinforcements do not stop after the first few turns of the game. Its position is the strategic opposite of the invaders; the U.S. is positioned to lose heavily during the opening rounds of the game, but can count on a slow-but-steady buildup of reinforcements throughout most of the game.
  • The effect of this oddly-balanced strategic/logistical situation is that the invaders must “break” the U.S. before its reinforcements reach a critical mass and the initiative starts shifting in America’s favor. Well-planned initial attacks are crucial for the invaders; any major setbacks for them in the opening turns of the game will cost them heavily once their reinforcements dry up and the U.S. finally starts going on the offensive.
  • The opening turns are crucial for the U.S. as well; in the face of the invaders’ numerical superiority, the U.S. inevitably loses a great deal of territory early on. The challenge facing the U.S. player is to determine which areas can be sacrificed to the invading hordes, and which areas must be held at all costs. The U.S. player does a lot of retreating during the first few turns–but it must retreat in such a way that a) the invaders are slowed as much as possible, and b) the U.S. will be in a good position to counterattack once its reinforcements build up.
  • The eastern invader is the biggest immediate threat to the U.S., because so many U.S. cities are located near or along the East Coast within striking distance of the invaders. Any strategic mistakes by the U.S. in the east/northeast can easily be fatal.
  • On the other hand, the western invader poses the least immediate threat to the U.S. The entire west coast usually falls within the first two turns, but after that, the western invaders must laboriously travel across the entire midwest to threaten the important cluster of U.S. cities in the east. This process takes many turns and gives the U.S. time to prepare.
  • The game does a good job of simulating an ancient invaders’ dilemma: the homefield advantage. The width of the battlefront only widens the further the invaders advance, and America is big enough that U.S. forces can almost always retreat a bit further out of range. The invaders must progress along a fairly predictable invasion path, whereas the U.S. can often pick and choose where to hit the enemy. American air power based in Omaha (distant from the front lines) can strike at almost any point along any of the invading fronts.

The way the game often plays out, in my experience, is about like this: the invaders come within inches of breaking the U.S. and winning, but run out of gas a mere turn or two from victory. If the U.S. can survive the first six or seven turns, it has a very good chance of winning the game; at that point, the invaders can no longer replace battlefield losses and start to lose the war of attrition. If the invaders haven’t “checkmated” the U.S. by the tenth turn or thereabouts, it’s very tough for them to win the game. That said, it takes a lot of skill for the U.S. to survive through throse hellish first few turns, when it seems that the invaders are simply unstoppable.

In summary, Fortress America is a very fun, but slightly odd, strategy game that merits more attention than it received back in the heyday of such games. If you’re in the area and looking for a good challenge, I’d happily challenge you to a Cold War duel of the superpowers!

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The horror, the horror!

Stories like this, in my opinion, make it hard to deny that Call of Cthulhu is the best RPG ever created. If I had to describe CoC in one sentence, I would be hard pressed to beat this (taken from the afore-linked post):

“…my second character was shot and killed by Bryan’s second character as my character was possessed and trying to eat the paper with the chant…”

I really need to play this game more often.

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

No comment

Michele and I have temporarily disabled comments on our blogs while we figure out how to deal with the blog-spammer problem (I’ve received 500 comment-spams today and counting).
This is really aggravating. Hopefully we’ll have some defensive measures up before too long.

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather